Why?
by Acting-Singing-Bella
Summary: Both Sam and Jo looked at Dean, fearing what he was going to say to them. They were both hoping that Dean would tell them to bring him to a hospital or to do their own little medical work on them. Little did they know that wasn’t going to be the case. CH2
1. Why?

**Why**

**Author's Note: ****Hello supernatural lovers! How are you doing today? Well I'm okay…anyway here is my newest Dean/Jo story…please read and review or else I will be very upset. Sorry if I made this story really sad, but I wanted to do a story that's completely different than what you normally read.**

**Summary: **** Both Sam and Jo looked at Dean, fearing what he was going to say. They were both hoping that Dean would tell them to bring him to a hospital or do their own medical work. Little did they know; that wasn't the case.****  
**

_Why, do you always do this to me?  
Why, couldn't you just see through me?  
How come, you act like this  
like you just don't care at all?_

Dean groaned in unbearable pain. He and Jo and Sam were working on a hunting gig together and they were about to catch the demon they were going after, when the demon brutally threw a broken pipe through Dean's chest and through his heart. Dean fell to the ground and remained like that as Sam and Jo sprayed the demon with holy water. After a lot of spraying and holy water…the demon finally disappeared. Sam and Jo then ran to Dean and Jo put his head on her lap and she could see in his eyes that he was dying. Jo held back tears seeing blood already soak through his shirt.

"Dean…oh my god Dean, you're losing a lot of blood." Jo said just above a whisper. Sam looked at his older brother and couldn't help but let tears stream down his cheeks.

"Dean, please stay here, please don't die. I don't need to lose you like I lost Jess, mom and dad." Dean slowly turned his head to his younger brother and he had a struggle keeping his eyes open.

"Sam, don't go soft on me." Dean muttered out. He was trying to lighten the mood; but it was clearly not working.

_Do you expect me to believe I was the only one to fall?  
I could feel I could feel you near me, even though you're far away  
I could feel I could feel you baby, why  
_

Jo couldn't hold it in anymore; she let her tears escape her eyes and she began to sob uncontrollably. She loved Dean; more than any man in her life. There was something about him that made her smile and laugh. She couldn't have him gone. She wouldn't have been able to survive with him gone. It wouldn't be the same. Jo held him closer and she rested her head on his head.

"Dean, please you can't leave us. Sam and I need you. This isn't fair. You sacrifice everything for Sam…why do you have to suffer?" Jo choked out. She knew that Sam may have been hurt by what she said, but she didn't care. She wanted to get that out. Dean coughed in pain and looked into her eyes weakly.

"Jo…I sacrifice everything not only for Sam, but also for you. I do what I do so you're safe. I sacrifice a lot for both of you and I'm cool with that." Dean said, barely able to cope with the pain. Sam let many more tears pour down his cheeks and he shook his head.

"Dean, please you have to hang in there. Let us call a doctor and maybe they can save you. Maybe you don't have to die." Sam sobbed loudly, trying not to scare his brother with his sobs. Dean shook his head, his eyes slowly beginning to close.

"No Sam…I think its time we stopped screwing around with destiny and fate. This is how I always wanted to give up the ghost…on my last job…in the arms of the one girl I actually love." Dean said, looking Jo right in the eye. Jo let more tears fall down her cheeks. Now she just wanted him to live even more.

_  
It's not supposed to feel this way  
I need you, I need you  
More and more each day  
It's not supposed to hurt this way  
I need you, I need you, I need you  
Tell me, are you and me still together?  
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?  
Tell me, why_

"Dean, don't talk like that; you're going to love. You're going to be okay. You've lived many times before, you're going to live!" Jo half screamed while she sobbed. Sam nodded in agreement.

"Dean, I swear to god if you die on me, I'm going to kill myself!" Sam nearly screamed, but yet his voice was saddened. Dean looked at them both and in pain he rolled his eyes.

"Please, both of you shut up! Just let me die in peace!" Jo shook her head, letting fresh tears land onto Dean's cheek.

"Stop talking like that Dean! Please, just let us help you!"

_Hey, listen to what we're not saying  
Let's play, a different game than what we're playing  
Try, to look at me and really see my heart_

Dean stared into Jo's eyes and saw how desperately she wanted him to live. Sam then looked into his little brother's eyes and saw how desperate he was for him to be alive. Dean looked at the broken pipe that was still in his chest. It was sickening not only him, but also Jo and Sam. Dean weakly lifted up his hand and he quickly ripped the pipe out of his chest. As Dean screamed in pain, Sam and Jo were both shocked and angered by his action.

"Dean! What the hell is wrong with you?!" Sam nearly screamed at the top of his lungs. Dean looked at his little brother and Sam saw how pale Dean quickly got.

"Dude, I just want this to be over quickly. I'd rather die quick than die slowly." Jo rested her head on Dean's head and continued to cry.

"Dean, why are you being so serious about dying?! Why are you doing this to us?! We both love you so much!" Jo said loud and clear. Dean looked into her eyes and only blinked. He heard her say that she loved him. He looked at his little brother and then looked at them both.

"Guys…there's something I want to say to you guys."

_Do you expect me to believe I'm gonna let us fall apart?  
I could feel I could feel you near me, even when you're far away  
I could feel I could feel you baby, why_

Both Sam and Jo looked at Dean, fearing what he was going to say to them. They were both hoping that Dean would tell them to bring him to a hospital or to do their own little medical work on them. Little did they know; that wasn't going to be the case.

"I don't have much time left…and I'm ready to go up and say hi to mom and dad…maybe some demons got up into heaven that I need to kill with dad. But before I die I want to tell both of you something."

_It's not supposed to feel this way  
I need you, I need you  
More and more each day  
It's not supposed to hurt this way  
I need you, I need you, I need you  
Tell me, are you and me still together?  
Tell me, you think we could last forever?  
Tell me, why_

"Sam, you're my little brother…and you're also a pain in the ass. But, we had spent a hell of a lot of time together and I think that was the best few years I've had in my life. And I'm going to miss our 'jerk' and 'bitch' comebacks we have at each other. I'm going to miss you man. I'll say hi to Jessica if you want when I go up there." In tears, Sam nodded his head and didn't know how much longer he could refrain from sobbing.

"Dean, I agree that you're a pain in the ass but you have given up a hell of a lot for me too. I wish that there was something that I could sacrifice for you. You deserve it a lot more than I do. I'm going to miss you man." Sam told his older brother, half choking on sobs. Dean forced a fake smile, hiding back tears of his own. He didn't want to say goodbye either, but he knew that everyone had to die someday.

_  
So go and think about whatever you need to think about  
Go ahead and dream about whatever you need to dream about  
And come back to me when you know just how you feel, you feel  
I could feel I could feel you near me, even though you're far away  
I could feel I could feel you baby, why_

Dean then slowly looked at Jo and saw the tears that endlessly feel from her cheeks. He knew that saying goodbye to her was going to be hard. Jo just wasn't any other girl whose pants he wanted to get in; she was different and made him interested. He knew for a fact that he was going to choke on tears saying goodbye to her. With a deep breath, Dean looked into her eyes sadly.

"Jo…there's a lot that I have left unsaid. It's a little late for me to be telling you this but…I love you. I wish I had said that sooner but I do. I really do. And I know that you're going to hate me for dying now after telling you that, but can I ask for one last death wish?" Jo bit her lip hard, trying to hide back her tearful screams but she nodded her head.

"Ask me anything Dean." Jo said just above a whisper. Dean sighed weakly and his eyes began to close.

"Kiss me." Dean whispered. With no hesitation, Jo kissed him passionately, savoring every moment she had kissing him. She knew she was stupid to think this, but she hoped that if she kissed him, he would somehow regain strength.

_It's not supposed to hurt this way  
I need you, I need you  
More and more each day  
It's not supposed to hurt this way  
I need you, I need you, I need you  
Tell me_

Jo and Dean continued to kiss, when Jo suddenly felt a gust if air go into her mouth. She stopped kissing Dean and she looked at him and she was heartbroken at what she saw. She saw Dean…her Dean…lifeless. He didn't make it. His last breath went into her mouth, somehow making her feel like he was inside her. Jo and am continued to stare at his lifeless body and they both began to sob loudly.

"Dean…Dean no! Please come back! You stupid jackass why did you do this?!" Sam screamed at the top of his lungs, nearly choking on his tears. Almost on cue, it began to rain and thunder. As Sam screamed his brother's name repeatedly, Jo just continued to stare at him, with tears falling down her cheeks. She couldn't handle this. She was hoping she was having a dreadful nightmare and she would wake up in a moment. But she knew that would never happen.

"Dean…why? Why, Dean why?" Jo kept asking over and over again. And that question still stays with her today; Why Dean? Why?

_It's not supposed to hurt this way  
I need you, I need you  
More and more each day  
It's not supposed to hurt this way  
I need you, I need you, I need you  
Tell me, are you and me still together?  
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?  
Tell me, why_

_**Okay sorry I made that SO sad but please read and review!**_


	2. Fading

**Fading**

**Author's note: ****Hey! This is a new chapter to my story so read and review that if you haven't done so already. I would also like to thank snsw25kr14 for giving me the idea. Review or else I'll be pretty upset!**

**Summary: ****Everyday I look down on them and I see them still struggling, wanting me to come back home. I would if I could, but at some point in our lives, we have to face reality; I'll never come home. Dean's POV.**

_Running around  
Trying to figure out, now  
Where you put your smile down  
You can't let them see you like this  
Thinking what mask you're gonna front  
You grab the nearest one  
You take your place_

It's almost been a year since I've died. You would think that dying as maliciously as I did, I would become a vengeful spirit, like the ones I and my younger brother Sam used to hunt. But I never did. I didn't have a reason to become a hateful and angry spirit. I'm nothing like those spirits. Besides, I'm glad I died because now I can be with my dad and get to know my mother who I never really knew. I'm glad I guess, but I'm heartbroken to see how Sam and Jo are dealing with my death.

_Amongst these faceless others  
underneath the surface  
everything's so backwards  
it's all a lie _

Everyday I look down on my brother and I'm crushed at what I see. Sam, my pain in the ass Sammy is depressed and is in therapy. It scares me that Sam is in therapy. He was normally the one to talk about his troubles with someone he knew rather than a stranger. He always got me talking to him. I thought he would be able to handle himself. He used to be in that therapy for almost three months. But it must not be helping. Sam has been in the suicide ward for nearly two months now. Since my death, Sam has tried to kill himself by either trying a drug overdose, shooting himself or cutting himself. He's almost losing his mind and it scares me.

_  
Run away  
Save yourself, let it go  
It's too late  
I'm losing you  
you're fading  
_

In some ways, I don't blame Sam for becoming suicidal and for becoming depressed. If I was still alive and Sam died the way I had, I would be like that all the time. I would try and kill myself. I would be depressed. I would make myself go through hell. But, Sam I guess wants to be dead more than anything now; he has no one now. First we lost mom, then he lost his girlfriend, then we lost dad and to top it all off, Sam lost me. He's alone now. He's stuck in a suicide ward with no one there to protect him or let him know he isn't alone.

_  
Don't move  
Sit there in a trance  
do not make a sound  
Fool, what were you thinking?  
Fallen no one's gonna call  
No hands were up at all  
you're on your own again  
_

Even though Sam is my brother and I should look out on him all the time, he isn't the only one I have been watching over. I've been looking over Jo, the woman I loved and then woman who I breathed my last breath into as we kissed. I watch over her all the time. I watch over her and I remember the times we had together. I watch over her and I remember looking into her beautiful eyes as I was slowly dying. As I watch over her I still remember kissing her before I died. As I watch over her…I remember how much I have left unspoken between the two of us.

_  
Walls are closing in  
you can't feel anything  
Becoming one of them  
Come back to me_

Jo is just as broken as Sammy is. Jo has been to at least five different therapists since I died, she has been on anti-depressants and she has gone so far over the edge. She may actually be worse than Sam. Jo has been so depressed that she began a drug and heroin addiction and she has been arrested for more DUIS than anyone I've ever known. She became so crestfallen that she chopped off all her long beautiful golden hair. I don't know why she did something illogical but it just shows how grief-stricken she is. Also, she has begun doing self-mutilation on herself. It sickens me to actually see someone so beautiful do that to themselves. I don't know how Jo could do that to herself, but when you're depressed and you feel nothing, self-mutilation makes you feel something.

_  
Run away  
Save yourself, let it go  
It's too late  
I'm losing you  
you're fading_

Jo spends at least half the night just crying and screaming my name. I know that she can't see me, but she can feel my spirit come into bed with her and wrap my arm around her. She feels me within each breath she takes. She feels me within each tear she sheds. She feels me within each and every one of her thoughts. She feels me every time she does something to hurt herself. Little does she know; it hurts me more.

_Fading, fading, fading  
Fading, fading, fading  
_

I compare Jo and Sam after my death all the time. They're both so different yet so alike. They're both dealing with it differently, but there is one thing that they have in common. They both want to die. They both want to die so they could rejoin with me. They are both surrounded by many people who still love and care for them, but they refuse to think that and they choose to believe that they're alone.

_Run away  
Save yourself, let it go  
It's too late  
I'm losing you  
you're fading away  
_

Even though they're doing many things that just may kill them, they aren't going to die now. I know their prophecy. Sam is going to die at the age of eighty-nine from a stroke. He's going to get married when he turns thirty and have three children. Oddly enough, the eldest boy will be named Dean. Somehow, Sam is going to get out of this depression and end up being happy in the end. The same thing will go for Jo. Only for her, she's going to die at the age of ninety-nine because of old age. She's going to get married in when she's twenty-nine and have two daughters with him. It may take her a while to move on though, but she'll be in high spirits.

_  
Save yourself, let it go  
It's too late  
I'm losing you  
you're fading_

They'll be happy in the future, but for the now, they're not going to be the happiest people in the world. Even though I'm already dead and the worst is behind me, it kills me to see how the two people I love and care about are suffering. Sam is in and out of the suicide ward and in therapy and Jo is slicing herself like a thanksgiving turkey and is using more drugs than a pharmacy even owns. Sometimes I feel as if it's my fault that they're like this. Because I died, their worlds turned upside down. I don't know what else I can do.

_Fading, fading..._

Everyday I look down on them and I see them still struggling, wanting me to come back home. I would if I could, but at some point in our lives, we have to face reality; I'll never come home.

* * *

_**I know its pretty angst and Jo and Sam are kind of EMO, but I thought it was something new. Please review!**_


End file.
